There are more I like but these are a few of my favourites, from Harry Potter in particular just because they’re hilarious!
“The fates have informed me that your examination in June will concern the Orb, and I am anxious to give you sufficient practice.” Hermione snorted. “Well honestly… ‘the fates have informed her’… Who sets the exam? She does!” – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
“Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?” said a cold, drawling voice. Draco Malfoy had arrived for a closer look, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him. “Yeah, reckon so,” said Harry casually. “Got plenty of special features, hasn’t it?” said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. “Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute – in case you get too near a Dementor.” Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. “Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy,” said Harry. “Then it could catch the Snitch for you.” – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban“What’s that?” he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. “If it’s another form for me to sign, you’ve got another -” “It’s not,” said Harry cheerfully. “It’s a letter from my godfather.” “Godfather?” sputtered Uncle Vernon. “You haven’t got a godfather!” “Yes, I have,” said Harry brightly. “He was my mum and dad’s best friend. He’s a convicted murderer, but he’s broken out of wizard prison and he’s on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though…keep up with my news…check if I’m happy….” – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban“Who’s Kreacher?” “The house-elf who lives here,” said Ron. “Nutter. Never met one like him.” “He is not a nutter,” said Hermione. “His life’s ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother”, said Ron. “Is that normal, Hermione? – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?” “Yes.” “You called her a liar?” “Yes.” “You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?” “Yes.” “Have a biscuit, Potter.” – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix“You’re a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That’s everyone in the family!” “What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?” – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!” – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix“Harry, don’t go picking a row with Malfoy, don’t forget, he’s a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you…” “Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?” said Harry sarcastically.” – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix“Okay. Ground rules,” I said, and locked gazes with Eli. “I pee alone and I shower alone. Some things need to remain a mystery, and those are two I firmly believe in.” – Afterligh“Mortals have always exaggerated the difference between hate and love. Both come from the heart. You can never hate strongly unless you have loved strongly.” – The Last Vampire“Lish tried to swear–which is always funny, because the computer won’t translate it. It went something like this: “Bleep stupid bleep bleep faeries and their bleep bleep bleep obsessions. He had better stop bleep bleep bleep the bleep bleep rules or I will bleep bleep bleep the little bleeeeeeeeeeep.” – Paranormalcy“Yes, I have a driver’s license.”I leaned back against the wall, sighing. “Man, that must be so cool.”
“It ranks right up there with lockers. In fact, sometimes I put my license inside my locker, and it’s so cool I worry that the whole thing might explode with the sheer coolness of it all.” – Paranormalcy“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” – Audrey Hepburn
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” – Marilyn Monroe