If you don't want to read a personal post, then don't read any further :) I just want to explain where I've been and what I've been doing.
At first it was lack of time I had that kept me from reading or blogging, then new things came into my life and I progressively got busier and busier (and slacker and slacker), then I started my new job and I had MORE time on my hands and I had all intentions of starting to blog again. I was even happier than I am usually.
Then everything went downhill. It's like every aspect of my life that was great before just went down the drain. I had two friends commit suicide within a day of eachother, I was/am having constant trouble with some of my family members, money (as always) seems to disappear as soon as I get it (on rent and bills, yay) my relationships with people started to fail and I failed two of four units at university for the semester. There is more to this, but all of that happened in a week. I felt like I had noone I could turn to for help and I had no idea who I could talk to about this which made it all worse. I've now confided in a couple of people who I know I can trust with my everything and that has made me feel a lot better and I'm slowly getting happier again. But I'm still at one of the lowest points I've ever been at in my life and I lack the motivation to do anything I used to love.
I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm sick of losing people and I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good enough for anybody. I'm not trying to fish for compliments or anything like that, it's genuinely how I feel at the moment and I hate it.
Everytime I've attempted to clear my head and sit down and read a book, I can't do it. All of these horrible thoughts and feelings come creeping back into my head as soon as I try to. I can't blog because I have nothing to blog about and I'm so unmotivated that I barely wanted to see or talk to anybody for a couple of weeks (I'm an extrovert so this is a big deal for me) and I haven't been able to clear my head - even reading hasn't been able to do that for me, and reading, as you know is a great way to escape the world and to just relax and forget everything.
But I can't do it. Even as I'm starting to feel happier again and more sociable, there are times (out of nowhere it seems) that those terrible feelings come creeping their way back into my head and I find myself either crying, wanting to cry or just feeling horribly numb.
I'm sorry for the sob story and the huge amount of venting but I wanted to explain why I have disappeared for a long time so far and why I haven't been reading or blogging. I want to - I really do - but I literally haven't been able to.
Sorry and I'll be back soon, I love you all <3>
I'm so sorry that you're going through this rough patch. Might I suggest finding out if your uni has a counselling service (it should), and seeing a counsellor just to talk things out? They can offer you some great advice on how to handle your financial situation, and the death of your friends, and everything else that's bothering you.
ReplyDeleteI went to my own uni counsellor earlier this year, and they wrote me a letter of referral to see a psychologist, and to take antidepressants, and it's really helped me.
And if you don't really want to go to a counsellor, then feel free to hit me up. I'm always willing to listen if you need to whinge and bitch about any problems you're facing. :)
Anyways, as much as I love reading your reviews, I'd rather you wrote them because you feel like it, rather than read something that's forced out. Take your time with getting better, and reading and writing reviews. :)
Take the time you need, i know it's not possible to read when we have so much on our ùind
ReplyDeletewewill wait your return so really don't worry and take care of you
First and foremost take care of yourself. Blogging should be something that comes last on your list of preferences. In the last two weeks I have had a couple of break downs involving crying and lots of stress, but I confided in my sisters and it kind of got a little better. Find someone close to you to talk to. You need to find support in times like these. If you ever need to talk to someone I'm more than open to talk with you just say on Skype. If you believe it will get better it will get better. x
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, and take all the time you need. You're in a very rough patch ATM and blogging can wait. Just know that your online friends care about you and look forward to your healthy return.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this honey bunch. You're such a happy person and I hate that you have to go through all of this. We should all catch up soon and have some good girly fun. Much love xx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that. I hope you feel better and more like your self again soon. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about that. I hope everything gets better for you very soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry this and to have this all happen so close together... Take care of yourself and focus on getting you better and don't worry about the blog, you come first, always. ♥ Sending a BIG hug your way and if you ever need to talk, I'm here. *huggles* xx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time Taneika, that's a lot to deal with. Your blog and your bloggy friends will be waiting when you feel ready to return, concentrate on healing. It's good you found someone to talk to, I really do believe sorrows shared are sorrows halved. I've taken breaks from my blog when overwhelmed by a succession of life events and my bloggy friends have been way more supportive than some members of my family lol, anyway maybe sharing how you feel will in some small way help with healing. Hugs Sheree
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to hear all that you have gone through and had to deal with. I hope things start to feel better for you. Know that there are people out there that will help and that do care.
ReplyDeleteTake care and hugs,
Sabina
Focus on yourself, sweetheart, and hang in there. I wish I could tell you that everything will be alright right away, but I think that would be a lie. But there's always hope, and there's always someone out there who is willing to help you, even if you don't realize it. We're pulling for you! It will take some time, I'm sure, but things can get better! Just keep on keeping on. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteTinny! I am so so sorry for your loss and struggles. Thinking of you in this hard time my best blogging turned real life friend. You know that we are all here for you and we will still be here when you are ready to return.
ReplyDeleteLove you <3 *hugs*
Oh, Tinny, sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry. For everything. Like everyone else has said, take car of yourself. YOU come first, and blogging can wait. You know we'll all be here waiting for you. So, so much love and zero pressure. But I do hope things get better as fast as they can, and your Christmas is a merry one ♥♥♥
Taneika, don't feel like you have to apologise to your readers, your well-being comes before your blog and I am so sorry you're having such a horrible time right now.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you do have friends and family who can be there for you right now, if not, please seek out someone who you can talk to (even a counsellor) because you need support right now instead of feeling like you're alone.
Sending you lots of well wishes xox
I was just searching for blogs to guest post on...this is awful. I'm so sorry for your losses and I hope you are recovering.
ReplyDeleteShameless Idiots!!!!!!!!! Clearly.... she's going through a tough time and your advertising?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! IDIOTS
ReplyDelete